


Happy Thoughts

by Moonswing



Category: D. Gray-man
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 11:51:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10189316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonswing/pseuds/Moonswing
Summary: Allen tells Neah where to go and Lavi picks up the pieces.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Self-indulgent Laven because I want these losers to be happy, dammit.

After the war, there were two options available to Lavi. The first was to continue traveling and documenting as he had been, or, since he was no longer an apprentice, to live with the rest of his clan in an actual house, and care for incoming and present records. Lavi elected to be stationary, although no one would have guessed the reason why, as his housemate was snuck inside the dead of night, and no one saw or heard from anyone else but the redhead. 

Although he spent as much time as he could in the house, there were a few days a week he had to go and spend the majority of the daylight hours at the expansive Records Hall, not returning till late evening. It seemed to be just he by himself and he just fine with that. 

Until the evening came that he had a visitor. “Komui,” he greeted the older man outside his door with a smile and a handshake. “What brings you by all the way out here?” 

“I was hoping I could speak with you,” was the complacent reply. “May I join you inside?” 

Lavi paused. He really didn’t want anyone inside besides himself. “Well, I guess you have come a long way,” he finally agreed. Hopefully his housemate was still napping. “What did you want to talk about?” he asked once they were inside. 

“Right to the point, then. Where’s Allen?” the supervisor pleasantly asked. 

“Allen?” 

“Allen Walker. I’m sure you remember him. Five foot seven, white hair, curse mark. Where is he?” 

“Akuma, Innocence, Allen’s mark, they’re all gone now,” the redhead reviewed in irritation. “Why the hell would I know where he is? I booked it here-” 

“The second you were allowed, yes,” Komui agreed. “Allen disappeared around the same time, right out of the infirmary.” 

“I think he more than earned the right to go wherever the hell he wants.” 

“Agreed, agreed; I’d just like to know where that is.” 

“Why?” 

“Concern. This is just me talking, Lavi. I did my best to care for all of you while under my command; I guess I’d feel better knowing he was safe.” 

“Then know he is.” 

“He is here. May I see him?” 

“Please leave.” 

“Lavi, this is just me, not the Order,” Komui pleaded again. “Just for a moment, please, and then I’ll-” The visitor stalled, gaze shifting from the doorway to the next room, where there was another figure walking up to a table where an orange cat was sitting. Five foot seven, white hair, two pale arms and no curse mark, petting the cat. A shirt too big for him, probably one of the bookman’s, hung long on the shorter, smaller frame the cat rubbed against. 

“Lavi, I’m hungry,” the low tone spoke, eyes still on the animal. 

“Did you eat the lunch I left?” 

“I forgot.” 

Not acknowledging the visitor further, attention completely sidelined, Lavi went into the next room as well to rummage through a cabinet. 

Komui followed, standing in the doorway. “What’s the cat’s name?” he asked neutrally, and for the first time, Allen looked up at him, but there was no recognition in his eyes. 

“Sophie. Who are you?” 

“My name is Komui. I’m a friend.” 

“Oh. Okay,” was the reply, then his attention returned to the feline. 

The visitor took the cue, turning his own attention to the redhead. “Lavi, could I meet you somewhere tomorrow?” 

A heavy sigh left him. “Yeah. Sure. You can’t miss the Records Hall. Ten tomorrow morning.” 

“Thank you.” 

&

A big part of Lavi was hoping the man wouldn’t show, would just back off and let them be, but be it fortunate or not, Komui was right on time, and sought himself out immediately. Also while he was helping someone find a specific topic, so he wasn’t exactly paying much mind to his presence. 

“So what happened? His memory seems to be gone,” the question finally came anyway. 

“Allen had to take some extensive measures to keep the Fourteenth back. Measures that cost him memories of his own. Some of his sanity. Before he did that, if there did end up being damage, he asked me to get him out of there before anyone noticed the change in him.” 

“So he’s no longer himself.” 

“If you ask me,” the redhead replied immediately, still rifling through the pile of books. “He’s finally able to be himself. That sweet, polite, self-sacrificing little marshmallow was a product of more emotional abuse than one child should ever have to handle.” He found the one he was looking for, flipping through it. 

“He’s forgotten all that, then?” 

“Honestly, I don’t know exactly what he does and doesn’t remember. He’s a lot more straightforward than he was. As you saw, if he’s hungry, he’ll make it known, but usually won’t eat if I’m not there to put it in front of him. Sleeps a lot.” 

“Does he ever leave the house?” 

“Marshall! Right here!” Lavi called to a woman a few rows down, and handed the book off to her before replying. “At this point, not really. I haven’t told him not to, if that’s what you’re thinking. Sometimes when it’s really warm he’ll go out during the day, but not often and not for long. Not like at night. He’ll sit on the back porch for hours just staring at the stars. Anything else?” 

“Has anyone else figured out he’s here? General Cross?” 

“I’ve seen him outside a couple times, but he didn’t approach the house, and I don’t think Allen saw him. Think he was just making sure Allen was okay himself. And as for Allen… I think he’s figuring out who he is. Whatever he remembers, he’d dedicated himself to those around him. There’s no longer any akuma, so he doesn’t know what to do anymore. It’s my best guess, anyway,” was the add with a shrug. “Like I said, I have no idea how much he remembers before forcing back the Fourteenth.” 

“Does he remember your… relationship?” 

“Dammit, Komui, how many times do I have to say ‘I don’t know what he remembers’ before you believe me?” Lavi asked, his temper slipping. “He registers me as a friendly face and that’s more than enough,” he followed with a weary sigh. 

“…I’m sorry. That was too far.” 

“I… can keep you updated, if you want.” 

“I’d appreciate that, thank you. I’ll leave you be now; thank you for telling me all you have.” 

He watched the supervisor go, then returned his attention to the sorted mess in front of him. And sighed again; he was going to be here at least until nightfall. 

Hopefully Allen would eat something before then. 

But a few hours later, long before he was to pack up to finally leave, he heard an abnormal amount of chatter outside. Usually the outside was silent or close to this time of day. Curious, he went to see what the fuss was. 

In the center of the small collection of buildings, there was a swarm of people, all gathered around a single figure. A clown. Face painted, but white hair down and in Allen’s clothes, being a cheeky little acrobat. It was endearing, but Lavi hoped this didn’t mean his charge was regressing further. It was entirely possible the younger male had just finally gotten bored or something like that. 

So Lavi watched with the rest- right until Allen spotted him and ran through the crowd to hug him- something he’d never done since coming here. He hadn’t seemed a fan of any kind of physical contact, and Lavi’s hands had itched to hold him close. “So how’s it going?” he muttered, smiling. 

“I like today,” was the bright reply, still holding on. 

“What makes today so special?” 

“The fire ate the sun,” he told him, but there was immediately an annoyed look following the statement, like he knew the words wouldn’t make any sense to the redhead. 

“You don’t have to explain,” Lavi smiled. 

“But it’s important,” Allen insisted. 

“Okay; let’s go inside and we can figure it out.” 

“Okay,” the other agreed, but before they could go back in the building, the children in the small crowd had caught up to him. 

“Mr. Clown; you aren’t leaving, are you?” one of the asked, the others sharing her concern. 

“I have to go with Lavi for now, but I’ll be back later, okay?” Allen told them with a smile. 

“Who’s Lavi?” 

Confused, he pointed to his companion, who quietly explained, “That’s not what they know me by, but you keep calling me that as long as you like.” 

Smiling brightly again, he followed the redhead inside to a table further back away from the door and from most everyone else. 

“Okay, so it’s not literal fire, right?” 

Allen shook his head, then reached to grab a handful of the bookman’s hair.

“You mean me?” 

A nod 

“Okay, and the sun. Not the one in the sky?” he asked and the white head shook again. “What else can the sun be?” 

“Everything else!” Allen informed him. 

“Okay, good to know, but I do need you to keep your voice down in here.” 

“Okay.” 

Eating… everything else. Eating could also just mean it was gone now. “Did I make the bad things go away?” 

Allen smiled. 

“I’m glad,” he smiled back. 

“You used to hold me a lot,” the younger male spoke. “I remember.” 

“I did,” he agreed. “But you hadn’t seemed to be wanting me to lately.” 

“Oh. I do, though. Is that okay?” 

“That’s definitely okay.” 

“Can I stay here with you?” 

“You can, but it sounded like you have a pretty captive audience outside. Being a kid around here can get pretty boring.” 

“Yeah?” he asked, concern in his tone. 

“Yeah. Unless someone picks you to apprentice for them, it doesn’t get much more exciting than watching paint dry.” 

“That’s just wrong,” he replied, standing and striding back out the door. 

Lavi smiled and went back to work, happy cheers ‘Yay! Mr. Clown!” ringing in from the outside. 

&

He was gathering his things when Allen came bounding back in, face still painted, and still grinning. “The kids had to go home.” 

“It is about sunset; I was about to start home myself.” 

“Without me?” 

“Obviously, I was going to grab you on the way,” he replied, carrying his last load of books back to the shelves. “I just have to put these back.” 

“Oh, okay,” was the reply, following. “After, wanna have sex?” 

Every book in Lavi’s grasp hit the floor. “What?” 

“Sex. In here. I know you’ve thought about it.” 

“Did… Did you just randomly snap out of it, or…?” 

“Things started getting clearer about a week ago, I think. I just… wasn’t sure how to show it. You seemed to like taking care of me and I… wasn’t sure what else to do. With myself, that is.” 

“But you didn’t recognize Komui.” 

“Who? The guy yesterday morning? Should I know him?” 

“He was the branch supervisor at the Order. Looked out for us.” 

“…Oh. Not gonna lie; Neah took a lot of that with him. So, sex? Is anyone here?” he asked, looking around. 

Cross had said Allen was a foul-mouthed brat before he met Mana, then super-polite after the man’s ‘death,’ a way of coping. Now, Allen’s speech didn’t rank with ‘foul-mouthed,’ but it was much more casual, and much more self-involved, whereas before- 

“It’s the make-up, isn’t it?” Allen’s voice came again. “I can wipe it off. Is there a towel around here?” 

“I don’t care about the make-up, Allen; it’s disturbing how much it suits you. Yes, we’re the only ones still here, and if you still want a towel, there’s plenty in the bathroom at the other end of the building.” 

“…You weren’t thinking about me at all.” 

“You are all I think about, Allen.” 

“That’s a lie; you’re here all the time.” 

Definitely no longer afraid to speak his mind. The words were borderline childish, but the tone demanded answers. “And what do you think I do while I’m here?” the redhead asked. “It’s not just to keep shit organized.” 

The other opened his mouth to reply, then stopped. “Okay, I don’t know, but-” 

“Research. Anything I can possibly do to help you,” Lavi informed him, piling the books back up. 

“But there isn’t a situation like mine.” 

“No, but I kept hoping I’d find something applicable.” He lifted the pile again after replacing the top two. “But in the end, you didn’t need me; you figured it out yourself, just like you always do.” 

“I think… I asked you to bring me here, right?” 

“You asked me to get you away from the Order if your memory was affected after that epically stupid stunt.” 

“An epically stupid stunt that totally worked,” the younger male added. 

“Oh yeah, so well you can’t remember half your life.” 

“I get the feeling it’s all stuff I don’t want to remember anyway,” Allen replied, still following Lavi around the massive library, so when the redhead abruptly stopped, he crashed right into him. “Lavi?” 

He started moving again, but there wasn’t a reply, going about the task of getting the books back where they belonged. 

“Lavi?” 

Still nothing, the last two roughly shoved back to the shelves. 

“I said something bad, didn’t I? What was it? I won’t again, promise.” 

Finally, the other stopped and turned back to the younger male. “I’m going to ask you something I promised myself I wouldn’t.” 

“Okay.” 

Only Allen could have his entire face painted over and still be so expressive. Worried, confused, but waiting patiently… “How much do you remember about me?” 

“…At first, I couldn’t even pull your name out of my brain, but… I was never afraid of you or anything like that. You were… too kind for me to think anything like that. I’m not sure how long I was completely blank like that, but I felt so much better about everything when…” 

“When what?” 

Allen took the couple steps that separated them, hands clinging to the taller man’s shirt. “Lavi,” he muttered, resting his head against an obliging shoulder. “You’re Lavi. Just knowing that calmed everything else.” 

Still, there wasn’t a reply, but the older man’s arms loosely wrapped him. 

“We used to sit on the roof at the Order. Look at the stars, watch the snowfall… I think we were even out there in the rain a few times.” 

“Yeah,” was the agreement. “I’m glad you remember that. Is that why you’re on the back porch so often?” 

“I just knew I liked it at first. When you started coming out with me, I figured out why. I’m… I’m trying to remember even a single time we’re had sex, but…” 

Lavi smiled into the white strands. “I’m flattered you’re so certain we’re so close.” 

Allen was suddenly facing him again. “You mean…?” 

“It wasn’t for a lack of trying. Someone or something usually got in the way. Usually last minute.” 

“…Oh. Shit, so just now-” 

“However, that’s not the first time you’re said that to me. I just really hadn’t seen it coming, at least not this soon, in any case.” 

“So… everyone’s gone home?” 

“Yes.” 

“No one’s expecting you anywhere?” 

“No.” 

A smile crossed that coy face again. “Wanna have sex?” 

“Like my life depends on it,” came the heated reply, lips joining for a wanting kiss. He could feel the make-up smudging against his skin, tasted awful, but he couldn’t spare the attention to care about it. Allen’s taste, Allen’s face, was right behind it and he’d been wanting that for just too long. 

Then Allen kicked his legs up to hug his waist. He took the cue to pin the shorter body to the wall. “Lavi,” was the moan in return. 

“Hey,” the bookman asked, getting an idea. “Think you can get those legs a little higher?” 

Even through the smudged paint, he saw the other’s eyebrow arch. 

“Get your pants off first.” 

The other did, then, after a small jump to grab hold of an overhang, his feet shot up straight through the air too hook the taller man’s shoulders. “Like that?” 

Good God… Body laid out like that, cock hard and stiff against stomach… “Perfect,” he replied, and swallowed him whole. 

Allen called out unabashedly, bucking for more of the hot feeling, top the point Lavi had to take hold of his hips to keep them still, the other’s voice flooding his ears. 

The redhead was drunk on the sound, and, wanting more of it, resituated his saliva-covered hands to push the fingers inside his partner- Allen’s cry filled the space, and Lavi could taste that he was close. 

“Ah-Ah- I’m-Lavi-Oh!” he called out again as he came. “S-Sor- Umph!” he tried, but was cut off by the redhead’s messy lips on his own. 

“That was the hottest display I’ve ever seen,” was the breathless return. “I will never forget it and don’t you dare apologize for it.” 

Slowly, still panting, the grin returned. “That good?” 

“I nearly finished myself watching you. Think you got another one in you?” 

“That… hit me pretty hard, but I can do the same for you.” He cocked his head to the side before adding, “Smudged face paint is a surprisingly good look on you.” 

Lavi chuckled, letting him down. “Likewise. Switch places?” 

“I think I like you hovering over me,” was the reply, sliding down the wall with a toothy grin. “I know you’re used to containing yourself, but please don’t feel you have to now, okay?” was the add, pulling the redhead’s pants loose. 

‘Be as loud as you like.’ Yes, Sir. 

He caught silver in the corner of his eye. A little silver golem, that was actually sweat dropping at the sight of the younger male swallowing him down. General Cross’ new golem. Not something the bookman would’ve wanted the man to find out, at least not like this, but- “Oh, God, that’s good,” he moaned when Allen actually managed to swallow around him, and didn’t stop there, still sucking and licking and- “A-Allen, I’m-” he tried to warn, and the other tried to swallow it down, but most of it was running down his chin. Still epically hot. “Looks like you could definitely use that towel now.” 

He nodded. “I’ll grab one for you too. Where’d you say the bathroom was?” 

“Straight down, other end of the first floor,” the bookman directed him, and his partner took off. While waiting for him, the redhead dared look around from the entranceway for the general, but unsurprisingly, there was no sign of the man. 

“If you’re doing that sort of thing, I would hope that means he’s got his memory back.” 

Behind him. Of course. Lavi nearly jumped out of his skin at the drawled tone, wondering how he hadn’t noticed the smell of cigarettes sooner. “As back as I think he’s going to get,” the younger male managed to solidly reply. “It was his idea.” 

The other scoffed. “Because Allen’s judgment is completely sound. Not even playing with a full deck and you’re-” 

“I may not have all my cards, but I have enough to work with,” Allen’s deadpan tone cut through the air, then softened to a small smile, face now clean. “It’s good to see you, Master, but you can back the hell off now,” was the add without breaking his expression and handing Lavi a damp towel. 

Oh, right. His face was still smeared with Allen’s makeup. “Thanks, but I’ll probably need a mirror too. Back in a sec,” he spoke quickly, and was gone from the scene. No doubt the two wanted to catch up, and he left the door open because, well, eavesdropping was what he did. Old habits died hard. 

“I know you’re worried about me, Master, but as far as threats go, Lavi couldn’t be farther- at least to me,” Allen spoke knowingly. “Don’t think I haven’t seen you skulking around in the corner of my eye.” 

“That’s impossible,” was the sharp retort. “I don’t skulk.” 

“Oh, please; it’s all you do.” Lavi tilted the mirror so he could see into the entryway. 

Cross snorted. He took a long drag off his cigarette, letting the smoke out slowly. “…So, you’re happy, then?” 

It took a minute for the smile to fully quirk Allen’s lips, as if he were smiling for the first time. In a way, he was- the first time he’d smiled for himself, and not for someone else to believe he was okay when that was so far from the truth. “I am, Master. Really.” 

A small tug formed on the older man’s lips. “Good. See that it stays that way.” 

“Yes, Master.” 

Lavi wandered back out then, the last smudges of make up gone, the general taking his leave. Allen turned completely to him, still smiling. “Ready to go home?” the remaining redhead asked. 

That beautiful smile grew still wider at the question. “Yeah, Lavi,” he replied. “Let’s go home.”


End file.
